Ever since the 2010 Olympics there are no more Scragsvilles. Everything in Canada is glorious…and free.

Canada now owns hockey, as well as a brand-new boisterous nationalism.

And here I am, getting ready to bail.

No travelogue would be complete without the day-by-day account (even if posted in reverse order) of preparations.

Monday March 1

George has his nose immersed in his German grammar book. A week from now he has to shlep down to Montreal and to the Goethe Institut and pass a German language exam.

I’m glad it’s not me. The only phrase I know is: Ich habe kein scheisspapier.

For the life of me I can’t remember where I picked that one up.